Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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