Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
