ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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