Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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