I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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