I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
