Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Panties = found
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
