I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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