I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
