Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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