Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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(613): View more from Ontario

it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole

(1-613): View more from Ontario

im not talking about this

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(740): View more from Ohio

besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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(810): View more from Michigan

I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent

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(519): View more from Ontario

You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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(251): View more from Alabama

Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway

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(925): View more from California

its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.

(775): View more from Nevada

want fries with that?

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