gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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