hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
