pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
