dude i'm inner monologue high
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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