I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize