Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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