Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
