Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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