So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
