the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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