Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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