Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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