Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
