The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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