Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Your cock deserves a montage
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
