White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
