She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
