it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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