If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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