Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
