Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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