You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
