Don't you send me to vm
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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