i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
