thus making me awesome and them whores
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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