Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
