1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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