Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
