I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
