These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My breasts were aching with rage.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
