I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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