What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Girls should come with a carfax report
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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