perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
