I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dating After Heartbreak
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.