I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.