So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
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I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
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It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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