Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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