Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
