its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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