Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
