I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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