i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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