i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
