you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
