Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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