At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
