At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
