I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
