Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
