cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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