you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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