yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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