The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
